Social Etiquette for Tennis Boys
by heartPoTforever
Summary: The tennis coaches have just about had it with some of the tennis regulars' bad manners, and thus have assigned a teacher to teach them proper social etiquette! Oh the horror!
1. How it All Started

**A/N: Hello this is Ji Hyun crapping here :D As usual we got this idea during a social etiquette class. Enjoy and review please :D **

**A/N 2: Hello this is Nikki and I'm sorry that Ji Hyun over here does not know that _etiquettes_**** does not exist in the dictionary so I had to edit this. :D Sorry for any confusion caused! Enjoy (:**

**Social Etiquette for Tennis Boys  
**_How it all started._

* * *

It was one normal sunny morning on the tennis courts of Hyotei Gakuen. The tennis regulars of Hyotei were having practice matches as usual. Sakaki-sensei was worried. No, more than worried with the foul manners of his regulars. Especially with two particular regulars who were rapidly deteriorating the hearing of the rest of the team.

"I definitely can win you in a singles match 'cause you suck! You're just a bouncing monkey with no brains and no stamina. There's no way you can beat me!" Sakaki-sensei noted Shishido shouting. 'Why were they fighting again?' he wondered. Then he realized they didn't need any reason to argue.

"Fuck you! With my acrobatics I can defeat all your signature moves! 'Cos they all suck as much as you! Who the hell do you think you are telling me I suck? Look in the mirror you bastard you suck waaaaaaaaaaay more than me!" Sakaki-sensei decided that Gakuto was being a whiny kid, retaliating fervently to all of Shishido's jibes.

"You're in denial! Everyone knows that I have more skills than you do! I made it onto the regular team twice!" Sakaki-sensei rolled his eyes. Since when was getting dropped from the regulars a good thing?

"Hah! I have never been dropped from the regular team _ever_. That's why I'm so much better than you!"

Sakaki-sensei was pissed. He stood up and was about to stop them when Shishido suddenly glared and menacingly growled, "At least Choutarou and I know we're a better team than you and the loser Oshitari."

Sakaki-sensei sighed and sat back down, knowing that they would never stop when the subject was about their beloved doubles partners. It eventually ended up with something like this:

"OSHITARI SUCKS AND YOU KNOW IT!" from Shishido.

And…

"CHOUTAROU SUCKS MORE!!! YOU CAN'T DENY IT!" from Gakuto.

Sakaki-sensei gave up on the two boys and glanced at the rest.

Choutarou was in tears behind Shishido and from the stands, Oshitari watched with an amused expression over the random romance novel he had magicked out of nowhere. Next to him was Atobe, who was absentmindedly stroking Jiroh's hair while the boy snored away. A bit farther off Kabaji could be seen, mouthing swear words which he had managed to copy. On the other side of the stands, Hiyoshi seemed to be holding a mug of… colourful liquid which gave off steam as colourful as the liquid. He was grinning evilly and staring at Atobe.

Sakaki-sensei sighed and walked off to make a phone call, hoping that Atobe wouldn't be murdered by Hiyoshi while he was away.

"Moshi moshi, Sakaki-sensei, is there anything up in Hyotei? You sound quite upset."

And so, Sakaki-sensei bitched about his regulars' behaviors to Ryuuzaki-sensei. Who in turn called up Banda-sensei, who called Ojii-sensei and finally, Ojii-sensei randomly called Tachibana who decided to call Yukimura since he didn't want to be the only non-adult involved in the bitching chain. In the end, Yukimura, who was sensible unlike all the other coaches, called up Sakaki-sensei to ask why he had started the bitching chain.

And so, somehow, all the coaches, plus Tachibana and Yukimura were seated in a circle to discuss how to solve the problem. The problem referring to the failure manners of the regulars, not the reason they suddenly had a bitching chain.

After a few seconds of intense thinking, Sakaki-sensei decided that they would call Fujiwara-sensei, his acquaintance, and an etiquettist.

After getting the confirmation from Fujiwara-sensei that she would be glad to help out, Sakaki-sensei asked the rest.

"So who's team wants to go first?" No one did. After an eternity of uncomfortable silence, Yukimura decided to be sensible for the last time and spoke up.

"How about we draw lots?" and so, thanks to Yukimura, they finally decided the order. Which was written on Sakaki-sensei's whiteboard by Ryuuzaki-sensei, who managed to accidentally use permanent marker.

The order was;

1. Hyotei  
2. Rikkai Dai  
3. Seigaku  
4. Fudomine  
5. Yamabuki  
6. Rokakku

All satisfied, they all happily returned home, with the exception of Sakaki-sensei, who had to bring a frothing Atobe home before he could return home himself.


	2. Chaos at Hyotei

**A/N: Second chapter of Social Etiquette (no 's' unlike Ji Hyun's sucky spelling) for Tennis Boys is here! Title can also be shortened to SEfTB if you don't want to type the obnoxiously long title. :D Hope you enjoy this chapter! Sorry it took so long to get this up! Please R & R!**

**Social Etiquette for Tennis Boys**  
_Chaos at Hyoutei_

It was another bright sunny morning and Fujiwara Minako was walking towards Hyoutei Gakuen. The beautiful compound just showed off that Hyoutei was a wealthy school filled with rich students. Fujiwara Minako was called here to teach a group of tennis boys proper social etiquette. She did not expect that such a wealthy school would need a teacher like her to teach social etiquette to the students, but she didn't mind since she was being paid. Just as she stepped through the school gates, a bloodcurdling scream filled the air.

**&**

"WHAT?! WHY THE HELL IS TENNIS PRACTICE CANCELLED? WE'RE A TENNIS TEAM DAMMIT! NOT A FUCKING ETIQUETTE TEAM! OUR FUCKING PARENTS FUCKING DRILLED THAT INTO OUR MINDS WHEN WE WERE FUCKING FIVE!" Mukahi shouted at Sakaki-sensei when he informed them of the social etiquette lesson. Everyone covered their ears as Mukahi opened his mouth to let out a scream of protest.

The scream seemed to have lasted for maybe a year but in fact it was only 3 seconds. Oshitari rolled his eyes at Mukahi's immaturity and proceeded to act nonchalant about what they've just been informed about. After all, it meant more time to read his romance novel.

Atobe was covering his poor Jiroh's ears to make sure that his dear boy would get his beauty sleep. Other than that, he didn't mind an etiquette lesson. He was a pro at social etiquette. He smirked, proud of himself. Oh, and proud of Jiroh for managing to sleep through Mukahi's rant.

"Now, please proceed to class E2-14 where your lesson will take place. It will start in half an hour so please be on time. This lesson last for 2 hours, and it is all for your own good. I hope this will benefit you!" Sakaki-sensei ignored Mukahi's whiny protests and stalked off, leaving him to wallow in self-pity.

Most of the regulars were quite satisfied with the break from tennis, tennis and more tennis and couldn't be bothered to comment about the lesson. Only Shishido and Mukahi were complaining about having to take this lesson instead of playing tennis. Choutarou, being the nice kohai he is, tried to calm Shishido down. Mukahi was whining to Oshitari who just ignored him because he was too engrossed in his romance novel that he magicked out of nowhere again.

**&**

The tennis regulars headed over to classroom E2-14 and sat around being bored except for Atobe and Jiroh who still hadn't arrived doing god knows what while waiting for the teacher to come in.

Most of them were about to die of boredom when the teacher, that is, Fujiwara-sensei finally arrived. She looked about as haughty as Atobe. Immediately, she fell flat on her face and was trampled by a hyperactive-now-awake Jiroh who was being… hyper.

Behind him, Atobe walked in and graciously helped Fujiwara-sensei up. Jiroh noticed the teacher who was standing beside Atobe and went even more hyper.

"Ooh! Ohayo ohayo ohayo! Are you the teacher? Yay! I love… Whatever we are learning!" Atobe just shook his head slowly and dragged his lover to a chair before seating himself. Amazingly, Jiroh stayed awake and stared at Fujiwara-sensei with anticipation.

Fujiwara-sensei frowned. Only the boy with the grey hair seem to have proper manners. No, in her opinion, none of them seem to have proper manners. They had not even greeted her when she had walked in!

Realising what she wanted, Choutarou decided to be a good boy and stood up, greeting her. Reluctantly, all the rest followed the example, until only Mukahi was left sitting. After a prod from Oshitari, he stood up and shouted, "I hate you! Go and die! Why do you have to come here to ruin our day dammit!"

Fujiwara-sensei decided she finally knew why Sakaki-sensei had practically begged her to teach. She sighed and greeted them. "Hello, minnasan! My name is Fujiwara Minako and I'm here to teach you social etiquette! Usually, I teach you how to stand and walk properly first but from what I'm seeing, you seem to have no problems with that. How about all of you sit down so that I can make sure you sit properly too?"

Promptly, all of them sat down. Hiyoshi just sat at the front of the classroom with no expression at all. Kabaji, who was next to Hiyoshi, was a copy of Hiyoshi. Behind the two of them sat Oshitari and Mukahi. Oshitari was sitting perfectly if you ignored the fact that he was holding a romance novel in his left hand. Beside Oshitari, Mukahi had both his feet up on the table and was pointing the middle finger at Fujiwara-sensei. At the back of the classroom was Jiroh, who had finally fallen asleep, leaning on Atobe and Atobe, who's sitting position was slightly out of shape due to Jiroh leaning on him but otherwise perfect. Beside Kabaji, who'd been sitting right at the front if you recall, was Shishido. He was glaring and slouching slightly but still better than Mukahi. Next to Shishido was Choutarou who was smiling an angelic smile and his sitting position was the best of them all.

Fujiwara sensei walked around the class, observing each one of the regular's sitting postures. She placed a chair at the front of the class and asked, "Who would like to volunteer to show us how to sit properly?"

Atobe nearly stood up and announced to the whole world about his prowess and how nobody would be able to outshine him in the area of social etiquette when he realized that Jiroh was still leaning on him so he refrained from doing so. He didn't want to wake up his dear lover, did he?

Choutarou being the good boy he is volunteered and sat on the chair with the angelic smile still on his face. Nobody really paid attention to what Fujiwara-sensei was talking about because it was too boring and only Choutarou and Shishido, since he's such a big fan of Choutarou, were listening to Fujiwara-sensei praising Choutarou's posture and telling the others to learn from the good example.

Fujiwara-sensei noticed that nobody was actually listening, so she went around and observed the Regulars' postures. Again. Upon seeing that Mukahi had not changed his totally awesome way of sitting, she slammed her hand down onto his table and smiled sweetly at him.

"And who may you be? I can tell from your posture that you have absolutely no interest in learning anything from my class. I'm sorry that you have to stay in this classroom for the next 2 hours, but I cannot permit you to leave this classroom as my lesson is still ongoing. Now, you wouldn't want me to treat you like elementary school children right? So please follow my instructions and these 2 hours might actually be useful to you."

Mukahi freaked out. And froze. He shrunk smaller and smaller under Fujiwara-sensei's smile. If Fujiwara-sensei's smile was any sweeter her lips would've turned into honey . Oshitari, being the -cough- nice -cough- doubles partner he was, came to the rescue. "Gakuto, sit properly or I'll make you watch Titanic with me. And I'll replay the kissing scenes."

Hearing the threat, Mukahi's brain desperately ordered his body to sit properly. Apparently, his body was kinder than it acted and obediently moved to sit in a perfect posture.

Gracefully, she walked around the class and asked them to do the same one by one. Mukahi started grumbling but after a glare from Fujiwara-sensei and a smirk from Oshitari, he did a perfect round.

All the rest, even Shishido, made perfect rounds until they got to Jiroh. Jiroh was fast asleep. Even under Fujiwara-sensei's glare, he stayed in dreamland. "Kabaji, wake Jiroh up." Fujiwara-sensei commanded. Suddenly, Atobe spoke up. "Ore-sama will not allow you to wake Jiroh up, sensei. Na, Kabaji?"

Kabaji didn't reply Atobe. A part of him was telling himself to do as the sensei said and wake up Jiroh but the other part of him was arguing that he should agree with Atobe. But he knew that the two sentences were conflicting so he couldn't agree with Atobe AND do as the sensei said. Kabaji stood there and wondered what to do. After a while, his brain overloaded and shut down, effectively making Kabaji faint.

Fujiwara-sensei sighed and decided that she would wake Jiroh up herself. She menacingly walked towards Jiroh when Atobe protested. "Fujiwara-sensei, I'll give you all the money in my wallet if you let Jiroh sleep!"

Everyone gasped. Everyone except for Kabaji who was still lying on the floor unconscious. Atobe was really desperate. Oshitari and Mukahi immediately started betting the amount of money in Atobe's wallet. But to their dismay, Fujiwara-sensei got pissed. And used her full power glare on Atobe. Atobe was paralyzed and shrunk smaller and smaller, resembling Mukahi.

Hiyoshi smiled evilly, whipped out a video camera and taped the whole thing while Mukahi muttered to Oshitari about Fujiwara-sensei being a relative of Yukimura's. Still, all of them expected their "respected" buchou to free himself from the evil grip of Fujiwara-sensei's glare.

Instead, Atobe shrunk even smaller and disappeared, freaking out the regulars. Simultaneously, they fainted. Jiroh, who was waken up by the absence of a cushy Atobe for him to rest on looked around. He noticed that everyone was asleep. Then he noticed that Atobe wasn't asleep next to him. "KEIGO KEIGO KEIGOOO! WHERE ARE YOU!! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME! AHHH!"

Jiroh ran around in circles and finally out of the classroom in search of his beloved boyfriend.

Fujiwara-sensei sighed and sat down on a table and started playing minesweeper for the rest of the two hours she had left.


	3. Torture at Rikkai

**A/N: Sorry for the really really late update everyone, we were both busy with school work and stuff. D; but finally, it's here! SOCIAL ETIQUETTE FOR TENNIS BOYS RIKKAI VERSION ;DD but Fujiwara-sensei never seems to be able to reach the etiquette bit. Ahh wells enjoy!**

**Social Etiquette for Tennis Boys**

_Torture at Rikkai_

Yukimura was smiling, as usual. But his smile wasn't the confident, sure one that he always wore but a disturbed, confused one. Just a few moments ago, when he had announced that they were planning to have a two hour long etiquette lesson instead of tennis practice, his team had cheered. CHEERED. With the exception of Sanada, who had known about the plan beforehand because Yukimura had informed him, and Yanagi, who had known about the plan beforehand although Yukimura had not informed him. Oh, and Yagyuu hadn't cheered either. Since he was a gentleman.

Currently, Yukimura was watching the ones who had cheered. He could tell that they were plotting something. Niou was smirking and muttering conspiratorially while Marui and Jackal were grinning mischievously along with Kirihara, who was bouncing on his heels in excitement. Simultaneously, the four of them turned around and stared straight at Yukimura. Then, they started moving towards him, again in synch. After surrounding Yukimura, Kirihara put on his best puppy-dog face and began speaking. "Ne, Ne, Yuki-senpai~, could you please do one tiiny little favour for your favourite kouhai? Pleaseee?"

Yukimura's will crumbled.

**&**

Yukimura sashayed out of the changing room with a small smile playing on his lips. Just as Kirihara had begged him to do. He could feel stares directed towards him, he had always been able to tell when someone was looking at him, but kept his cool façade on. After all, that was one of his fortes right? Still, he couldn't deny that he didn't have any second thoughts. Sure, he didn't mind wearing a skirt, but a miniskirt? One that barely covered a quarter of his leg? If it hadn't been for Kirihara, he would have never, ever, had agreed to this. Bullying Fujiwara-sensei was okay, but cross-dressing was not okay.

But then, all was compensated for by the thought of Fujiwara-sensei freaking out, and the fact that Kirihara couldn't take his eyes off him. Frankly, the latter pleased Yukimura more.

At that moment, Fujiwara-sensei walked past the group of them, looking slightly flustered. Perhaps she was lost? Yagyuu, being the gentleman he was, stepped up and ushered her to the designated classroom while Yukimura herded up the rest and followed.

**&**

"Ohayo gozaimasu, Fujiwara-sensei, my name is Yuki…" Yukimura was cut short by Niou, who smoothly continued from there. "Yuuki Kirihara, our junior ace's nee-chan. She's the charming buchou of our tennis club. And I'm Niou Masaharu but you can call me Niou, 'kay?"

Fujiwara-sensei's first thought was something like, 'this boy seems to lack manners.' Her second was, 'wait, was this not a boy's tennis club? Why is the buchou a female?' So she decided to voice her thoughts out. "Niou-kun, why is your buchou a, ahh, a…" Niou interrupted. Again. "Fujiwara-sensei, I think it's better that you don't know." He spoke, with wink and a conspiratorial grin towards Marui.

Deciding to ignore the boy with the white hair, Fujiwara-sensei stood at the front of the class and exclaimed with obvious faux cheerfulness to the class "Hello, minnasan! My name is Fujiwara Minako and I'm here to teach you social etiquette! My acquaintance, Sakaki-sensei, had requested me to teach Hyoutei Gakuen before and they were exceptional students! I hope you can be as good as they were! After being taught by me, their social etiquette skills improved quite a lot, and I'm sure you guys will improve as much as well! So, how about you st…"

"Stand up straight so that you can see how "nice" our posture is and then sit down. Right? Or have you changed your syllabus after your "exceptional" teaching at Hyotei, sensei?" Once again, it was Niou. Fujiwara-sensei's bright smile faltered for a moment as she considered kicking him out of the class. Instead, she resumed grinning and trilled, "Yes! That is correct Niou-kun! Since you know so much about my, "syllabus", why don't you show us the perfect way to stand and sit?"

Niou just smirked and stood up, intentionally slouching. "Sensei, if I show you how to walk as well, will you let me go? I mean, it isn't very fair that you allowed the Hyoutei bunch to slack after standing, sitting and walking around the classroom once."

Without bothering to wait for a reply, he sauntered straight up to the teacher's table and pushed the comfy, cushioned chair, which held Fujiwara-sensei's bag, back to his seat. In one fluid motion, he kicked away his old chair, dropped Fujiwara-sensei's bag unceremoniously and flopped down on the comfy chair, crossing his arms and deliberately propping his leg up on top of Fujiwara-sensei's bag.

Pushed to the limit, Fujiwara-sensei was about to stalk up to Niou, prepared to give him a death glare when, "Tarundoru! Niou! Stop bullying the teacher or I'll assign you 100 laps and 25 slaps!"

"My, my, Genichiroh, don't be so mean to Niou. You didn't object so much to me cross-dressing!" Yukimura chided while Fujiwara-sensei stared at Yukimura, attempting to comprehend the words Yukimura had uttered moments before. With a blank look on her face, she walked towards Yukimura and tripped. Niou doubled up in laughter, pointing at Fujiwara-sensei along with most of the regulars, who had noticed the thin fishing line that Niou had somehow set up while dragging the comfy chair to his seat. Only Sanada, who unsurprisingly was the only one who still fell for the fishing line trick, looked bewildered.

Fujiwara-sensei stood up and glared at Yukimura, deciding that as the buchou, she, or he, or it, was the one responsible. Yukimura just smiled pleasantly back. "Kirihara-san, could you please account for the rude behaviour of your team mates and while you're on that, may I know why I heard the term 'cross-dressing'?"

Yukimura's smile grew slightly. "Why Fujiwara-sensei, I'm a…" "GIRL." Niou insisted cutting Yukimura short. Fujiwara glared with full power at Niou, expecting him to start shrinking like Atobe had. But instead, Niou smirked back, deflecting the glare easily.

Yukimura's smile grew even wider, knowing full well that Niou was capable of deflecting any type of glare that came his way. Sometimes even Yukimura's. Yukimura leant back on his chair, watching Fujiwara-sensei's futile attempts with fascination. Finally, Fujiwara-sensei came out on the losing end.

Deciding to finish the dear lady off, Yukimura started changing. Making as much noise as possible to attract Fujiwara-sensei's attention, he took off his shirt. To his delight, her eyes widened and quickly, she grabbed her bag and ran for the door. But before she got to the door, she tripped on the same piece of invisible fish line that Niou had set up previously.

With a sadistic smile, Yukimura trilled, "Sanada, do you think it'd be okay if I took off my skirt here as well?" Fujiwara-sensei scrambled up and sprinted out of the door, slamming it behind her.

A few tables behind Yukimura, Marui whispered to Jackal. "Ne, Jackal, I kinda had no idea Yukimura was this sadistic you know… I'm worried."

"Yeah, me too, but I'm more worried about the way Kirihara's ogling at Yukimura actually," Jackal whispered back worriedly.

Another few tables away, Niou smirked, having heard Jackal and Marui's conversation.


	4. Spam at Seigaku

**A/N: Ahhhhhhh really sorry that we haven't updated in erm… months… But we were busy with exams and tests and homework and projects and research! So yeah… not our fault! But we present to you… drum roll please… SOCIAL ETIQUETTE FOR TENNIS BOYS SEIGAKU VERSION! Yeah! I wonder what's going to happen :D**

**Social Etiquette for Tennis Boys**

_Spam at Seigaku_

_

* * *

_

"Hey Echizen! Didn't Tezuka-buchou say to put away all tennis stuff before this lesson! _All of it_." Momoshiro's loud voice rang across the classroom. Echizen just stared at Momoshiro while bouncing a tennis ball on the edge of his tennis racket as he walked into the almost empty classroom.

Suddenly, Tezuka popped up behind Echizen, sending him one of his trademark stony stares. "… Sorry buchou." Momoshiro had to stifle his laughter as Echizen kept his racket and tennis ball in his bag. Echizen quickly sat down at one of the empty seats and tried to avoid the stony look Tezuka was still shooting at him.

"Ochibi!" Echizen kept a straight face as Eiji promptly glomped him. The rest of the Seigaku Regulars filed in, and in came Fujiwara-sensei! The click-clack of her heels echoed down the hallway, and the class of Seigaku Regulars fell silent.

Fujiwara-sensei stood at the front of the deathly silent class and said "Hello, minnasan! My name is Fujiwara Minako and I'm here to teach you social etiquette! My acquaintance, Sakaki-sensei, had requested me to teach both Hyoutei Gakuen and Rikkai Daigaku Fuzoku before and they were exceptional students! I hope you can be as good as they were! After being taught by me, their social etiquette skills improved quite a lot, and I'm sure you guys will improve as much as well! So, how about you st…"

"Ohaiyo seishounen!" Echizen Nanjiroh popped up in the doorway, interrupting Fujiwara's speech. She shot him an icy glare, and proceeded to continue.

"Class, please stand up so that I can…" She was just about to conduct her lesson when Nanjiroh started harassing her. "Ne, sensei, how about we skip this lesson and go out on a date?" He winked seductively at her while saying this. Fujiwara-sensei could do nothing but stare, dumbfounded, at Nanjiroh as he continued to be a pervert and flirt shamelessly with her.

The rest of the class, however, was enjoying the presence of Nanjiroh. Fuji had whipped out a camcorder at one point of time and was busying himself by taping down the entire process of Nanjiroh invading their lesson, and Momoshiro was gleefully watching the scene through the camcorder. Kikumaru was glomping Oishi, who was staring open-mouthed due to the shock of a random person who he sort of recognized crashing the social etiquette class that he sort of looked forward to. Echizen quickly ran out of the class to get a can of grape Ponta when Fujiwara-sensei wasn't looking, for once glad of the presence of his stupid father. Kawamura was sitting at his seat being a good boy and watching the scene unfold with mild curiosity. Tezuka was being his usual self, sitting in a corner and casting a passive stony look over the entire class. Inui was sitting in a position that allowed him to watch the entire class, and he was scribbling things down in his data book as usual, his spectacles glinting even though no light was shining on it.

Tezuka, who had had enough shouted, "Yudan sezu ni ikou!" Everyone fell silent except for Nanjiroh who gasped and Kaidoh, who "pshhh"-ed.

"Who are you calling darn sexy 'n' cool? Fujiwara-sensei? She's mine, you so called buchou. I'll show you." Nanjiroh spoke angrily, under the impression that Tezuka had said, 'you darn sexy 'n' cool." All sweat dropped. Oblivious of the misunderstanding, Nanjiroh crossed his arms and started contemplating, wondering how to keep Fujiwara-sensei to himself.

A light bulb suddenly appeared above Nanjiroh's head, and he whipped out a cell phone from the inside of his loose yukata and started dialing a number. Rapidly, he ordered something no one could quite catch. Five seconds later, Ryoga threw open the classroom door, trying to catch his breath. He had an incredibly pissed off look on his face, and the Seigaku Regulars gaped at him slack-jawed. Except Tezuka, who had a stony look plastered on his face as usual, Inui, who only paused for a moment while writing before resuming his scribbling with increased ferocity, and Fuji, who continued smiling his signature Fuji smile. Okay fine, that's half of them.

Ryoma entered the classroom with a can of grape Ponta in hand, and only looked slightly annoyed to see Ryoga standing in the doorway. "Chibisuke!" Ryoga swiveled around to pat Ryoma's head, but his hand was slapped away. Fujiwara-sensei was glaring at them from behind Nanjiroh, who still continued his attempts to flirt shamelessly with Fujiwara-sensei.

Ryoga sat down at one of the desks, and magicked a bento box out of nowhere. He opened it up to reveal a bento spammed with Spam. Yup. Spam. The luncheon meat. In a bento box. Everyone just stared at the bento box. Even Fujiwara-sensei. Fuji opened his eyes in surprised, which definitely said something. Ryoga offered some of his lunch to the rest of the Seigaku regulars, and they stampeded towards him. Starting with Kawamura, who had randomly been handed a tennis racket. Except for Tezuka, who does not eat since he's a block of wood, Inui, who was still writing in his data book, and Fuji, who was videoing it all down.

In the midst of it all, Kikumaru tripped over some random leg that was sticking out of nowhere, and fell on top of Oishi, who was conveniently standing in front of him. And somehow, Oishi fell so that he was facing Kikumaru, making the position they ended up in very, very awkward. And they stayed in that position for a long time. More than 10 seconds. Which is definitely a _long_ time for lying on the floor. Fuji just sat there with his trademark Fuji smile, pointing the camcorder at the two boys who were _still _lying on the floor. Tezuka just pretended he wasn't staring at them behind his specs even though he was, and Inui just scribbled away into his data book, while the rest of the world ignored them.

Ryoga was surrounded by Seigaku regulars who were starved due to the incredibly boring social etiquette lesson that had not even started, and Ryoma sat on the other side of the room in order to escape from the utter chaos and enjoy his grape Ponta. Nanjiroh was still continuously sexually harassing Fujiwara-sensei. An increasingly big vein was throbbing on Fujiwara-sensei's head, and she was trying her best to keep her cool. Oh, not to mention Oishi and Eiji, who had scrambled up but somehow managed to fall down again. With their lips touching. Fuji seemed very entertained.

Fujiwara-sensei was suddenly pulled forward by Nanjiroh, and found herself in his arms. She tried her best to jerk away, but Nanjiroh's grip was tight. He grabbed her chest, and smirked "Sensei, your chest is full. Will you go out with me?" Outraged, Fujiwara-sensei kicked Nanjiroh in between his legs, and stomped out of the classroom.

The Seigaku Regulars just watched in bemusement.


	5. Creepiness at Fudomine

**A/N: Ok it's been more than half a year since we last updated this. Really sorry about that! When 2010 rolled in we were so busy with new classes and homework that fanfiction wasn't really our priority. But recently we remembered about this and decided to continue it! Hope you enjoy it **

**A/N: Ok this is Ji, and I'm totally jealous): Nii bought almost the entire set of PoT volumes! 37volumes! But she's lending it to me hehe~ :D  
**

**Social Etiquette for Tennis Boys**

_Creepiness at Fudomine_

The click clack of heels announced the arrival of Fujiwara Minako, a leading etiquettist and a regretting etiquette teacher of junior high tennis teams. The job offer had sounded good. Pay was high with the rich Hyotei Gakuen sponsoring it and the job itself sounded simple enough – to drill some manners into the rowdy junior highschool boys. But jobs like this always had a catch. _Always._ The boys were not just simply unruly; they were a living representation of hell itself. She braced herself to endure another day of horror and misery and stepped into the classroom. To find herself facing a group of boys quietly seated at the tables. They looked up at her expectantly.

"Thank you for volunteering to teach us sensei!" A boy with short black hair and a dot on his forehead stood up from his seat and bowed. The rest followed the example and bowed to her as well.

Rather impressed, she bowed back in greeting before introducing herself.

"Good morning minna-san, I'm Fujiwara Minako, here to teach you social etiquette! I've already taught Hyotei Gakuen, Rikkai Daigaku Fuzoku and Seishun Gakuen! They've all been perfect students. But I'm sure you can do much better than the likes of Seishun Gaku-"

"Of course we can. We're the best team in Tokyo, Kantou, Japan and the world. She's arrogant, even trying to compare our team with Seigaku. I don't understand what's wrong with her. I'll crush her." Shinji mumbled, cutting straight across Fujiwara's words.

"You can say that since everyone notices you! They all know you! Nobody notices me!' Uchimura sobbed in dismay to nobody in particular.

"Especially after you played that Echizen Ryoma. I hate Echizen Ryoma. Everyone loves Echizen Ryoma, but what's so good about him? He's short and he wears a cap. I'm short and I wear a cap and I'm good at tennis too! We're the same! Why won't people notice me instead? It's absolutely unfair!" Uchimura said all this in one breath, and took about 104 seconds to get his breath back.

Ishida took this as a cue to start complaining about how much his life sucks too.

"Fudomine is always ignored because Seigaku's in the spotlight! I can't stand that I was the one who started using the super awesome and powerful Hadoukyuu and Kawamura from Seigaku copied **ME **and used it and everyone thinks he's soooo good because he can use the Hadoukyuu but he stole my idea! Why is he the strongest power player in Japan? It should be me!" Ishida ranted.

"And come on," He continued, "I beat Kawamura in a match before! Was I recognized for it? No!"

At this point in time Shinji interjected, irritated by the amount of complaints drowning out his mutters and started to grumble at nothing in particular.

"Why are people always complaining about their lives? Can't they just move on with their lives and live normally? All I hear are complaints, complaints, complaints, complaints, and more complaints. It never stops! They just keep on talking, and talking, and talking…" Shinji continued to mutter to himself and everyone in the vicinity who were ignoring him since most of them are stuck with Shinji almost everyday during training and have developed a skill to block Shinji's neverending mumbles out. Of course Fujiwara-sensei was listening. Kind of. She was in shock. How could the wonderful angels who'd been sitting perfectly innocently in front of her suddenly transform into these, _things? _

* * *

Half an hour later, Fujiwara-sensei was still standing at the front of the classroom, staring at the incredibly weird (in her opinion and the general opinion of everyone not from Fudomine) bunch of students in front of her, and she wondered if they spent their entire lives just complaining about Seigaku being better than them. She was so dumbfounded by the weirdness of Fudomine that she totally forgot that she was there to conduct a social etiquette lesson.

Kamio was sitting in a corner with his red hair and emo fringe covering his eyes. He totally ignored the rest of the world as he was too busy enjoying the music blasting through his earphones.

Suddenly, Tachibana stood up and shouted,

"Minna-san! There's no point getting yourselves down! Who cares if Seigaku is better than us? We are way better than many other teams out there!"

Although he tried, Tachibana's words didn't cheer the Fudomine Regulars up much. Most of them sat staring into space or complaining out loud about how much they disliked Seigaku for getting all the glory.

Another 24minutes passed… Suddenly, An stuck her head in through the door, and greeted everyone. She walked in as if she wasn't out of place in a room full of **boys** that were learning social etiquette, and sat down in front of Kamio. This finally got Kamio's attention, and he tried to get her attention. He quickly pulled out his earphones, and started talking to An about anything he could think of.

"Have you heard of Lady Gaga? Her music is amazing!"

An was a bit perturbed by the random and very weird question.

"I've heard some songs, but I can't say that they suit my tastes." An tactfully replied.

Kamio went on rambling about music and how Lady Gaga's musical inspirations and whatnot, trying extremely hard to impress An. However, Tachibana wasn't impressed.

"What the hell? Kamio is flirting with my **SISTER**! This is totally unacceptable behaviour. I will not allow this! How could he, right in front of my eyes! Does he want to die? He obviously isn't impressing anyone, and he's just bothering my cute and adorable little sister! He better back off or he's gonna get it from me later." Tachibana started ranting about how Kamio shouldn't be flirting with An.

Fujiwara-sensei sighed and closed her eyes. She counted to ten to calm her nerves.

"Screw OFF Kamio! Stop slobbering all over her!" Tachibana continued.

Was that boy really the child who had greeted him at the start of the "lesson"? Fujiwara-sensei could not believe her ears. Or her eyes.

* * *

Mori and Sakurai were sitting together as the rest of the team was participating in the Fudomine complain fest, and they decided they wanted no part of it. Sakurai took out a deck of cards and the only two sane boys on the team started playing snap. Fujiwara-sensei didn't notice, as she was still standing at the front of the class staring at the Fudomine Regulars slack-jawed.

"There's no point having this social etiquette lesson instead of training since this teacher is just standing there and staring at us, and not teaching us anything. This is such a waste of time. I wish I could go to the courts now and train, and even going home and sleeping is much more productive than this." Shinji kept on muttering to himself

Fujiwara-sensei seemed to have heard Shinji muttering as she snapped out of her dumbfounded daze. She tried to catch the attention of Tachibana since he was the captain of the team, but it was the wrong move. Tachibana was still rambling and ranting over Kamio and An, and was so irate that he stalked up to Fujiwara-sensei and started shaking her by the shoulders.

"Why is Kamio _still_ flirting with my sister? Stop flirting with An goddamnit! You have no right to flirt with her! You didn't even ask for my permission! I'm your captain!" Tachibana raved like a madman.

Fujiwara-sensei was at her limit. First, the students she was supposed to teach were a bunch of weirdoes. Secondly, they were so weird that she was shocked into forgetting that she had a class to teach. Finally, the captain was shaking her by the shoulders and screaming in her face!

Her patience finally broke, and she broke free of Tachibana's grip.

"SLAP" Her hand struck Tachibana's cheek. Its force rivaled that of Sanada's and all the complaining immediately stopped, including Shinji's muttering, and the Fudomine Regulars gawked in silence as Fujiwara-sensei stalked out of the classroom.

The moment the clacks of her heels faded away, silence fell over all the Fudomine regulars.

"Hah, this is Fudomine power!" Kamio cheered.

"Tachibana-san, are you okay?" Uchimura and Ishida rushed to poor Tachibana's aid.

Sakurai and Mori shook their heads and rolled their eyes but looked happy nevertheless.

"So we did get rid of her. It was a good idea. But of course it was Tachibana-san's idea. So it must have been good…" Shinji rambled on, smirking.

An and Tachibana grinned at each other, proud of their boys for fending away the evil Fujiwara-sensei-monster.


End file.
